Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Olivia told me to write. So here I go.

I don't much want to, for fear of bringing up bad memories :P
But here goes.

Well since I last visited, I stopped speaking to Wanda. Just flat-out stopped, one day. I don't know if I wrote about that. It doesn't really matter, I think she was probably just a rebound :P

I got back in contact with Austin, as I've mentioned before, but only to find out that he hasn't changed a bit.
And because of that, I stopped speaking to him again.
For the best, he'll hurt me in the end.

I met a guy online, whom (as corny as it may sound) seems like he'd be my soulmate :)
It's like a romantic fairytale; we met in the most random way [a random chatroom on Stickam, which he never gets on, and I never do either.] at the most perfect time, not to mention. I randomly introduced myself. (the repetition of the word 'random' is for emphasis)
Too bad Jacob lives in California, now.
And I rarely speak to him. But I do like him more than I believe he knows, and I cling onto that lingering hope that maybe, one day, he'll realize and return the feelings.
The likelihood of me getting hurt is insanely immense with him, as sweet as he is. (He'll find someone who will sweep him off his feet before I do.) But I can hope, can't I?
He's too perfect to just give up on.
So I won't.
I don't even flirt anymore and I felt guilty when I even thought about doing so :P
Silly, isn't it?
Oh well.

I've gained a new friend. His name is Kelby.
A multi-talented, pushy, Zelda nerd whom attends Pepperall. He's a sweetheart :) But his personality reminds me of Reese's, and that automatically allows a dark cloud to hover over our friendship. Only because that means his personality and mine may end up conflict at some point, especially when it comes to respect towards my family.

My little brother was born. He's a healthy baby :) and very very adorable. I love him very much, although my toleration for his father is still minuscule to nonexistent. He's growing fast. Nearly a month old and he's gained 3 pounds and grown I believe 2 inches.
He's been moving his head since the day after his birth :)
He's crying a lot now, which gets aggravating, to no end.

My appetite has come back. I'm eating a lot now, but it's healthy.
And I'm working out to tighten up my stomach and make it look better. So far, so good.
I feel healthy and satisfied.

Since Paige moved in, I've been having mixed emotions. She dumped her last fiance, met a new guy, whom she thought was perfect, and then it started tumbling downhill, and now that's about over as well. Later this week, I believe is when she said she was going to end it.
So there's that.
Plus we keep butting heads, although the past week has been fine.
She's dirty and doesn't clean up after herself, takes things and doesn't return them, doesn't ask, and so forth.
But since those aspects have been brought to her attention, she's been doing better about it.
And so we've been getting along better.

Living with mom is pleasant :) for me, at least.
Although there's a shitload of drama amongst my family members. I stray from it, and successfully so.
Friend-drama as well. I just don't like it.

I've grown very close to my friends Charlie and Lejend.
Charlie's developed a strong infatuation with yours truly, although I'm sad to say that the feelings aren't returned.
I just can't see him as any more than a friend.
And I've told him so, so that takes care of that.

My friend Garreth has a crush on me too. But as far as he knows, I'm totally oblivious. And so that'll stay until something happens. But as in Charlie's case, I'm not interested.
Our personalities would clash so intensely that we'd end up slaughtering each other, even if I was interested.

I met a guy at the Avenged Sevenfold concert I went to on May 5th. I haven't spoken to him since.

I met two new friends at the Panic! At the Disco concert I went to on May 27th. I haven't spoken to them either :P

I'm not lonely to the point where I'm unhappy, but I miss being loved.
And I miss being in a relationship.
But not to the point where I'm throwing myself at guys.
So it's okay.

I'm getting a car at the end of this month.
Only problem is my driving eligibility. I have no idea if I can just flat out get a license. I hope so. Or at least not have to wait a fucking year until I can get one. I'll be furious if that's the case.
I have to look it up, but I'm scared of what I'll find.

I wish I didn't get aggravated as often as I do.

And I have 2 books to read by Summer's end. One is somewhat entertaining, but for some reason, I'm not too much of a reader.
The other, although it's shorter, I have to read with the aid of a dictionary.

I'm lovestuck. Ooooooooohhh, adolescence. I;m almost ready to be through with it.
But then again, I'm not.
I enjoy being young.
I'm not looking forward to the responsibilities of adulthood.

I'm tired.

I've been thinking about how distant I feel in some situations. Like I'm disconnected from reality.
It's not really nice.

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